


"Junkrat, You Need to Calm Down."

by Normal_Ghost



Series: Junkrat, you really need to get laid [3]
Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Domestic, Explicit Language, Fun, Gen, Short, Slice of Life, Sombra - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-31
Updated: 2016-12-31
Packaged: 2018-09-13 15:22:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 867
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9130339
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Normal_Ghost/pseuds/Normal_Ghost
Summary: Junkrat's misadventures in dating (or lack-thereof) have driven him past the edge. Luckily for him, but unluckily for Roadhog, he has his best mate to cheer him up.





	

It was about 8:00, and Roadhog was just starting his morning routine. He had a shower, shined his jewelry, strapped on his gear, then ambled to the kitchen to start on breakfast. Usually Junkrat was already in the kitchen area or the workshop by 4:00--that boy didn’t really sleep--but today the house was quiet. Fearing Junkrat was getting into trouble, he checked his room, but there he was, under the covers. Roadhog didn’t even think Junkrat owned a blanket.

Shrugging it off, Roadhog went back to work. After washing all of the dishes and pans, and both sets of cutlery, he started work on his own breakfast. Just as he was taking out a few cans of beans from the pantry, Junkrat shuffled to the kitchen area and put his head on the table. Roadhog gave a good morning grunt, and Junkrat mumbled something back.

“I was going to make breakfast chili, you want some?” Roadhog offered, but Junkrat didn’t reply. Still, he grabbed another can of beans and shut the pantry curtain.

All through chopping the vegetables, cooking the beans, scrambling the eggs, Junkrat stayed quiet. At first it was a welcome break from his usual chatter, but by the time he set out the finished food, Roadhog was too unsettled.

“What’s wrong?” Roadhog asked flatly. Junkrat just turned his head away. Sighing, Roadhog reached over, grabbed Junkrat’s head and turned it back towards him. Junkrat just grumbled again.

“Did you not sleep?” Roadhog asked. He was about done playing babysitter but he couldn’t stand his partner moping like this.

“I got about five hours,” Junkrat mumbled. That was two more than he usually got, something was off.

“Not asking again--what is it?” Roadhog asked. Junkrat furrowed his eyebrows and sulkily looked away. After a minute or two, he sighed, finally deciding to answer.

“I wasn’t able to ask anyone out yesterday,” Junkrat admitted sadly.

“For fuck’s sake,” Roadhog groaned as he dropped his friend’s head, “I thought another body part fell off in the dunny or something.”

“You don’t understand mate,” Junkrat whined, “it’s driving me batty! It’s not even about having a naughty anymore, I don’t understand why none of them like me!” Roadhog didn’t say anything, just judgingly looked at Junkrat while he wiped his own hand off with a towel.

“I know I’m not the kind of upstanding guy those gals are looking for, but why would they knock back so violently? I got killed more times by me own team than the enemy in the _one game_ I played yesterday!”, Junkrat started, sitting up and starting to fiddle with his breakfast, “What’s worse is I can’t stop thinking about it! This has never been a problem before! I know I got kangaroos loose in the top paddock, but it ain't usually about sheilas, it's just, you know, sensible things like explosions and mayhem."

“What’s wrong with me then?” Junkrat asked, getting more agitated, furiously stirring his chili, “‘Too disorderly, too small, too talkative, too Junkrat’, they don’t know what they’re missing. Yeah I mighta perved on them, but nothing none of the other blokes haven’t done. If it wasn’t for that dog Sombra’s comment, I wouldn’t’ve even been thinking about this!” Finally Junkrat had gotten so flustered that he had hit his bowl right off the table, throwing his breakfast all over the floor.

“That’s it! I’m killing Sombra! Are you with me then mate, or not?!” Junkrat yelled as he stood up, pointing his spoon at Roadhog. Roadhog finished chewing, then reached over to Junkrat’s shoulder, pushing him down till he was sitting again.

“It’s just not fair,” Junkrat started again, now sounding like he was about to cry, “I like me, why doesn’t anyone else?” He sniffled dramatically as he looked down at the chili strewn over the floor. Roadhog sighed, Junkrat usually had one of these little breakdowns once a week. Granted, it wasn’t usually _this_ bad, but it was nothing new. Looking down, Junkrat was just eating his breakfast off the floor. That was definitely nothing new.

After finishing his bowl, Roadhog did the dishes while Junkrat rambled on a bit longer about “what cunts those sheilas were” to him, then Roadhog sat next to Junkrat until he finished his story while he set up his gun.

“Look,” Roadhog began, “you’re just too--excited--about this. I don’t know, blow some more shit up and stop thinking about women for awhile, ok?”

“Could we go on a job together?” Junkrat asked sheepishly, looking up at Roadhog with pleading puppy-dog eyes. Roadhog sighed roughly, rubbing his eyes.

“Fine. But you talked my ear off already, so you better shut up for the rest of the day,” he agreed. Junkrat giggled before he sprang up to get his gear.

“You won’t regret it mate!” Junkrat yelled from the workroom, “My earbashing’s over! Nothing but classic explosions and mayhem for the rest of the day, you’ll see! Those dogs won’t know what hit ‘em!”

Roadhog wasn’t very optimistic of his chances for a chatter-free afternoon. At the very least, maybe Junkrat’d finally shut up about chasing women. Maybe. Again, he wasn’t feeling very optimistic today.

**Author's Note:**

> This isn't the end, I will finish this series! 
> 
> Eventually...
> 
> Maybe...


End file.
